calikev
Administrator
Admin/Founder
Enter here for your chance to win a vw split screen camper plus £15,000 to spend on it
www.fatface.com/madeforsummer
www.fatface.com/madeforsummer
Buy all your VW California Accessories at the Club Shop Visit Shop
R
Rubbadub
VIP Member
- Messages
- 48
Thanks For the link Kev. I've entered on the basis that I've never won anything in this sort of competition, so by the law of averages its my turn :lol:
R
Rubbadub
VIP Member
- Messages
- 48
If I won I would definitely sell it, sell my Cali and put it together with the £15k and buy a nice 4motion with all the toys. I've done the retro motor thing and the idea in your head is great but the reality sucks!
timber
VIP Member
Rubbadub said:
Same here , then I could have two :clap :clap
snowy55
Top Poster
VIP Member
If I won I would defo sell it.
Hired a 1979 Bay camper once for a week, loved the camping part of it but the drivability was dangerous, very under powered for today' s road conditions, massive steps in the gear ratio's, gear selection very vague ( this may have been this particular van).
I wrote it up in the evenings for therapy.
NATIONAL LAMPOONS HALF TERM VWCATION
Day 1
With Carole manning the squeegee we set off a 7.45am sharp and decided not to stop at Mc Donald’s as planned as we didn’t have to give way at the roundabout so we could keep rolling.
The condensation had cleared from the windscreen by Tamworth and we settled into motorway driving at a steady 55-60mph which kept the headlamp flasher busy letting the lorries know they were safe to pull back in as they passed. As the autumn sun rose to give misty pockets along rivers and streams a “dew drop” glistened on the end of Ian’s nose.
We stopped at Strensham services, M5 southbound, to put more clothes on so Ian did not have to drive with one hand in his armpit – alternating every few miles. He had tried putting his hand between his legs but because he had to spread his legs wide apart to stop the gear stick rattling he thinks he might have offended the coach load of pensioners who overtook us going to Gloucester for the day.
On checking the engine oil, we found we didn’t have any and topped it up. Van Halen has got five locks and came with two keys. All the keys fit all the locks either way round giving almost unlimited possibilities. Neither of the keys would open or lock the passenger door, but we could do this from the inside. We had to do relay to use the facilities because we could not lock the driver’s door any key. After twenty minutes with the WD40 (other spray lubricants are available) all door locks were functional and we had worked out the keys. We filled up with £20 worth petrol and worked out we were getting 30 miles to the gallon.
Just a few miles down the motorway, we went over a ridge in the road and the side door, that we had previously been unable to open from the outside, sprung open and slowly started to slide back, so Carole had to reach back and hold onto the handle for the next ten miles to Michaelwood services M5 southbound. We parked up and tried to close the door with varying degrees of force only to then realise we had woken the man in the adjacent car from his snooze. Oops.
Still wrestling with not being able to engage second gear whilst moving, it’s a big drop down into first and the engine constantly cutting out, made roundabouts and junctions somewhat hazardous. We pulled off at Bideford and had a brew, dribbling boiling hot water onto my thankfully shoed feet, "who the eff" designs and sells an effing kettle that dribbles"? I also cleaned the windscreen by hand (as there does not appear to be any washers) because for some strange reason there are lots and lots of big insects which make a very unpleasant ‘splatting’ sound on the screen.
On the positive you get a great view and the speed bumps are soaked up by the suspension and the springy seats, so the all round visibility when driving is very good and the gap at the bottom of the passenger door is brilliant for seeing the kerbs when parking.
We arrived in Bude at 3pm and found Upper Lynstone campsite CLOSED; so back down the hill to tourist information and then a quick trip into Bude to Boots the Chemist (because Carole had forgotten her contact lense stuff).
Ended up on Bude Holiday Park, sat in the beautiful afternoon sunshine whilst the man rode around on his mower – had he been waiting for us to arrive? This didn’t help with our headaches! Carole set about repairing the soft furnishings and in the process knocked over the much needed Henry Weston’s Vintage 2009 Special Reserve Cider (8.2%), Cheers!
Day 2
Woke up after a good nights sleep, still with a headache, to a lovely sunrise with a cloudless blue sky.
Whilst making a cup of tea I dropped the tin of powdered milk; it went all over the carpet, which you can’t lift out, into the pots and pans and onto my shoes. Why is car carpet ALWAYS so difficult to clean? I do not expect removal of powdered milk was on the tick list of things to try whilst it was being invented. It was surprising how quickly it absorbed the moisture out of the air but after a lot of scraping and cussing we were left with a white patch covering a quarter of the floor area! Carole then had an idea; blow it out of the side door with her hair dryer whilst brushing the carpet with her hair brush. The hot air served to dry it and send it outside; a great sacrifice from Carole, but when someone’s got a £500 deposit needs must.
Walked into Bude along the coastal path and had a good look around. A few things have changed but it’s not gone too posh. Marked cornish pasties off the list; we ate them sat on a wall, in the main street and watched the cars and people go by. On the return journey we stopped at the Summerleaze beach café for coffee and I spied some alcoholic Ginger Beer. I tried to buy a bottle but was refused due to their type of licence. I offered to buy some biscuits but apparently they do not constitute a meal - they could only serve alcohol with a “knife and fork” meal; I asked if a slice of cake would count as I often do eat cake with a fork. The waitress’s patience was running thin and the queue was getting restless so I settled for two coffees. On the way back along the path under the cloudless blue sky Carole exclaimed “how nice it was to feel the sun on your back”; I hadn’t noticed due to the large rucksack I was carrying which was rammed full with waterproof coats and the laptop. Throughout this holiday Carole has insisted that we take the laptop everywhere to take advantage of the widely available free Wi-Fi. Not once has she got the damn thing to work despite asking for codes and passwords in every single outlet we frequented. "Connectivity my arse"!
Didn’t drive Van Halen today but spoke to Adam the man we hired it off. He was most apologetic about the oil and said to keep receipts if we had to buy anymore. Apparently the windscreen washers worked by inflating the reservoir with an airline and on closer inspection, yes, there is a tyre valve dangling on the floor at the bottom of the steering column, how silly of me to have not have "spotted that one Pike"!! He suggested calling out the AA for the stalling problem but said it would be OK for me to adjust the mixture on the carburettor if I wanted to, he also said 2nd gears are notorious “they all do that, the gear box is like stirring porridge.” I’m sure Helmut Volkswagen didn’t design it with 12inches on the diagonal between 2nd and 3rd – that is a bloody big bowl of porridge.
Day 3
Another good night’s sleep, headaches gone, cloudy this morning so we decide to go to Looe via Polzeath and Wadebridge. On the way I am still struggling with 2nd gear. Carole suggests “pumping the clutch”, yes, from the mists of time I remember about double de-clutching and it works a treat. When we get to Polzeath I turn the mixture screw out ¾ of a turn, the revs rise, we have strong tick over and it nearly always goes into 2nd gear. Over 300 miles and it’s almost drivable! Met Pete, the Surfs Up man on the beach, then get a coffee from the Cone Zone and we sit in Van Halen and watch the surf from the car park at the back of Ann’s Cottage. Bliss!
We then head onto Wadebridge and park at “The Nice Mans” car park. When we park there on the motorbike he makes us park next to his hut, he doesn’t charge us and looks after our jackets and helmets…top bloke! We mark fish and chips at Barny’s off the list; which doesn’t disappoint. When we get back to Van Halen I spend 10 minutes underneath spraying WD40 (other spray lubricants are available) on the tube that the clutch cable runs through as every time the clutch peddle is pressed the tube moves and squeaks on all the cross members.
A very pleasant drive to Looe, Van Halen doesn’t stall, goes into 2nd gear mostly and the clutch doesn’t squeak! Next time we stop for petrol we will pump up the washer system, how many PSI he thinks to himself, German so probably Bars anyway!
Day 4
Yet another good night’s sleep, the bed is very comfy and the sleeping bags keep us toasty warm. We use the brand new facilities, with under floor heating in the toilet block, on a campsite just outside Looe (stayed in a place called Poo in Spain, make mental note to check out Google Maps for other toilet related named places to stay at) and drive to Polperro as we are both in need of a Full English.
Driving along the A38 we hit a heavy rain shower, turn on the wipers and after 5 minutes the passenger wiper came loose and is wiping the back of the door mirror and hitting the front panel mounted aerial. We have to continue as there is no where to stop, but use the wipers as little as possible, we go over the toll bridge and continue to the next services.
After filling up with petrol I reverse back to the airline, to pressurise the washer system, I put in 20 PSI, try the washers………..no water goes onto the screen because it is cascading from under the dashboard onto the carpet. I rotate the wayward passenger wiper back to its correct place and tighten the nut as best I can with the pliers I brought with me.
We are heading for Sidmouth and decide to go through Dartmouth to go across on the ferry. To enter Dartmouth you go down a very long hill, when we reach the bottom the engine stalls because it has cooled down. I restart it, using the choke, giving it mucho revs as we wait for the ferry to come over. Whilst we are waiting and revving a black Audi A3 drops off a Yoof (tracksuit, baseball cap) and drives off, immediately a Police car pulls up and pats him down, turns out his pockets, by now it is time to get on the ferry so we don’t know what the outcome was. It was £4.50 on the ferry; asked the man what time the Duty Free opens? “If only” he replied.
A couple of days ago Carole expressed a life long desire to go to Torquay, first I’d heard about it in nearly 31 years! We were in the vicinity so why not?
As we approached the English Riviera the sky grew darker and the heavens opened.
I turned on the wipers and within 5 minutes…... the passenger wiper came loose and is wiping the back of the door mirror again, I had to keep going until I found somewhere to stop. I decide to remove offending wiper as Carole, laughing, took photo of me on her phone. Getting back into Van Halen, I tried out our new mono-wiper, hit the switch wrong and water poured onto my shoes removing the last of the powdered milk.
Today we have overtaken 3 things, 2 cyclists and 1 mobile crane, in a crawler lane.
We got a bit lost around Exeter and arrived in Sidmouth exhausted having travelled less then 80 miles. We parked near the Tourist Information Centre (TIC), which is actually open, and went for a walk on the prom in the late afternoon sunshine. We visited a wine bar/ bistro to thaw out and marked cream tea off the list. We then drove to a campsite suggested by TIC. On arrival I opened the back hatch window to unpack and the errant wiper fell out onto my feet. I decided to call the AA first thing in the morning!
Day 5
Giles the AA man arrived 40mins after putting in the call, “ahh T2” he nodded sagely “had a couple of these, both complete dogs couldn’t wait to get rid of em, got a Splity now, much better machine”. He expertly diagnosed the problem as the threads that hold the wiper arm on were worn out. With a couple of washers and a new nut he got it too tighten up and he put on an extra locking nut for good measure. He offered to check the driver’s side wiper but on inspection you couldn’t see the nuts for a big blob of silicone sealant and he thought he would leave well alone. We tried them for a few seconds and they didn’t fall off so that was a good result. It hasn’t rained since and as the washers don’t send water onto the screen they haven’t been switched on since.
Clear blue skies again but cold, as we drove along our top halves were in the nice, warm sun and our feet freezing cold. Although I’m getting into this double de clutching routine to get 2nd gear on the way down, the box changing up into 3rd is now sometimes difficult. There is such a huge ratio difference when unsuccessful engaging 3rd you have no alternative but to go back down into 2nd and pray as the vehicles behind nearly run into each other. On the A303 dual carriageway, on a slight uphill section, we got overtaken by a broken down double decker bus being towed by a recovery lorry; such is the lack of performance from Van Halen. Filled up with petrol and got some oil to top up the engine through the ridiculously positioned oil filler. Having stopped for dinner at a Little Chef, and a thaw out, replenished we continued on our way. Just past Cirencester a large pheasant launched itself off the verge and with great precision hit the middle of the windscreen whilst we were going at 50mph, nothing broke but it really shook the van, didn’t see what happened to the pheasant! Proudly on a very steep hill we managed to overtake a fully loaded artic lorry that had run out of gears (at least he has got some) and was trying to set off again but his wheels were spinning- he did catch us up later.
On Van Halen’s key ring there is Camping and Caravanning Club Privilege Card 2010, we had shown this at a previous camp site and got a 10% discount. We proudly showed this on arrival at the Stow on the Wold campsite only to be informed that theirs was a ‘Caravan Club’ site and it would cost £22 to stay there for 1 night as non members! We asked for directions to a nearby site!
We drove in past the farm house that had no signs for reception, onto a big field that had various caravans and camper vans in situ. There was a group of men and women stood around one with flags flying high above, they looked official so we drove up to them, wound down the window and as a man approached us I said “can we stay the night?” He asked “are you members?” I replied “no” but showed him the key ring. He enquired “what’s that?” and as it is a bit scratched I held it nearer to his face. “Look it’s a 2010 privilege card” with that he lifted up, what I thought was one of those trendy walking poles, however, it was a white stick, he was BLIND! I ask you who puts a person of impaired vision as an official on the gate at a camp site!!! Carole explained to me it was something to do with Equal Opportunities. Anyway, I of course apologised but then a woman came over and said we couldn’t stay on their part of the field, as we weren’t members, but if we go to the farm house front door the farmer could ‘bend the rules’ and he might let us stay on another part of the field. Remember this is huge field with no discernable segregated areas so we turn round and go back to the farmhouse. “Course you can stay” £13.50, no receipt, if the other people in the field ask “tell um yur thinkin o joinin.”
When sat inside the van, with side door open, in the warm sunshine watching the other campers trundle about with barrels of water and “cassettes” of toilet waste Carole wondered what ‘membership’ entitled all these people in £35k to £65k camper vans too. Was it some elite club? She asked “will they be running round at midnight with chickens on their heads?” I replied “no, they are not Free Masons but if one’s got a white stick we’ll know they are from the Caravan and Camping Club”.
Day 6
We opened the van door to see a beautiful white frosty field and a clear blue sky. In the next field they are building a new community hospital and sure enough at 7.45am a giant digger started work on a hole near the campers on the other side of the field. By 9am they was busy on the other side of the site but there was no activity around original hole which reminded me of one year camping at Polzeath. A new toilet block was being built and the roofers would turn up at 7am and start up an ear splitting petrol driven disc cutter, wake the whole campsite up, cut tiles for twenty minutes then go for a tea break and spend the rest of the day fitting them quietly on the roof.
The entrance into the camping field doesn’t have a gate, just a lift out metal post which everybody drives up to, lifts out, drives through and puts back in. If anybody can move it what is its purpose? Again we sat in the sunshine watching the other campers trundling barrels of water and “cassettes” of toilet waste; which unusually at this campsite a manhole cover has to be lifted to empty offending recepticles into. When I later went for a shower, written in the instructions were the words “use the water sparingly.” When you turned the shower on there was little choice in the matter as the tepid water dribbled out, yet I’d just watched 200 gallons being rolled back up the campsite?
We had breakfast and as we were leaving the campsite Carole walked across to go to the loo and we arranged to meet at the gate. As I drove towards her the ‘blind’ man was walking along the driveway neatly avoiding all the puddles! How did he do that? I wondered. Carole came out of the toilets, the pole was already out so she stood to one side and she could hear somebody talking to the ‘blind’ man via a walkie talkie; telling him how many steps and which direction. That’s why on the previous day he had walked up to the van in such a confident manner! Next time he goes out on his own I hope he puts his foot in something a dog has left behind.(only joking)
We then drove to Broadway and discovered that by putting Van Halen into neutral gear at the top of a long hill, left foot braking and keeping the engine revs up it didn’t stall at the roundabout at the bottom. Magic! Broadway is a lovely place to visit and Carole achieved another life long ambition of ordering ‘eggs benedict’ for lunch. She had hoped that this would happen on a romantic trip to New York, I gently explained that Broadway was as close as we were getting and she seemed pleased with that.
A perfect drive home along the old ‘Fosse Way’ passing all the trees as they changed to glorious autumnal shades and mellow fruitfulness brought our adventure to an end and we arrived home safe and sound being careful not to tread in the oil patch left by Van Halen on the drive the previous Friday.
Conclusion
Camping
We have been on four really nice sites, inexpensive and well serviced, in some fabulous locations. Camp sites were virtually deserted and October is obviously is the ideal time to go for us. Van Halen provides superb accommodation for two people and the electric hook up was the icing on the cake.
Weather
We have had gloriously sunny days and only two rain showers on our travels. The autumn colours have made it memorable and the frosty morning were a beautiful sight.
Motoring
700 miles later and Van Halen is just how I always thought a VW camper would be to drive … f**cking sh*te!
Would we do it again? YES but not in one of these piles of cr*p, Mark my words any camper van we hire in the future, of any make, will be subject to a thorough road test in the presence of the owner.
I must finish now as someone is knocking at the front door. I suspect it is Steven Spielburg seeking the film rights, casting us as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, in the making of his next blockbuster.
Hired a 1979 Bay camper once for a week, loved the camping part of it but the drivability was dangerous, very under powered for today' s road conditions, massive steps in the gear ratio's, gear selection very vague ( this may have been this particular van).
I wrote it up in the evenings for therapy.
NATIONAL LAMPOONS HALF TERM VWCATION
Day 1
With Carole manning the squeegee we set off a 7.45am sharp and decided not to stop at Mc Donald’s as planned as we didn’t have to give way at the roundabout so we could keep rolling.
The condensation had cleared from the windscreen by Tamworth and we settled into motorway driving at a steady 55-60mph which kept the headlamp flasher busy letting the lorries know they were safe to pull back in as they passed. As the autumn sun rose to give misty pockets along rivers and streams a “dew drop” glistened on the end of Ian’s nose.
We stopped at Strensham services, M5 southbound, to put more clothes on so Ian did not have to drive with one hand in his armpit – alternating every few miles. He had tried putting his hand between his legs but because he had to spread his legs wide apart to stop the gear stick rattling he thinks he might have offended the coach load of pensioners who overtook us going to Gloucester for the day.
On checking the engine oil, we found we didn’t have any and topped it up. Van Halen has got five locks and came with two keys. All the keys fit all the locks either way round giving almost unlimited possibilities. Neither of the keys would open or lock the passenger door, but we could do this from the inside. We had to do relay to use the facilities because we could not lock the driver’s door any key. After twenty minutes with the WD40 (other spray lubricants are available) all door locks were functional and we had worked out the keys. We filled up with £20 worth petrol and worked out we were getting 30 miles to the gallon.
Just a few miles down the motorway, we went over a ridge in the road and the side door, that we had previously been unable to open from the outside, sprung open and slowly started to slide back, so Carole had to reach back and hold onto the handle for the next ten miles to Michaelwood services M5 southbound. We parked up and tried to close the door with varying degrees of force only to then realise we had woken the man in the adjacent car from his snooze. Oops.
Still wrestling with not being able to engage second gear whilst moving, it’s a big drop down into first and the engine constantly cutting out, made roundabouts and junctions somewhat hazardous. We pulled off at Bideford and had a brew, dribbling boiling hot water onto my thankfully shoed feet, "who the eff" designs and sells an effing kettle that dribbles"? I also cleaned the windscreen by hand (as there does not appear to be any washers) because for some strange reason there are lots and lots of big insects which make a very unpleasant ‘splatting’ sound on the screen.
On the positive you get a great view and the speed bumps are soaked up by the suspension and the springy seats, so the all round visibility when driving is very good and the gap at the bottom of the passenger door is brilliant for seeing the kerbs when parking.
We arrived in Bude at 3pm and found Upper Lynstone campsite CLOSED; so back down the hill to tourist information and then a quick trip into Bude to Boots the Chemist (because Carole had forgotten her contact lense stuff).
Ended up on Bude Holiday Park, sat in the beautiful afternoon sunshine whilst the man rode around on his mower – had he been waiting for us to arrive? This didn’t help with our headaches! Carole set about repairing the soft furnishings and in the process knocked over the much needed Henry Weston’s Vintage 2009 Special Reserve Cider (8.2%), Cheers!
Day 2
Woke up after a good nights sleep, still with a headache, to a lovely sunrise with a cloudless blue sky.
Whilst making a cup of tea I dropped the tin of powdered milk; it went all over the carpet, which you can’t lift out, into the pots and pans and onto my shoes. Why is car carpet ALWAYS so difficult to clean? I do not expect removal of powdered milk was on the tick list of things to try whilst it was being invented. It was surprising how quickly it absorbed the moisture out of the air but after a lot of scraping and cussing we were left with a white patch covering a quarter of the floor area! Carole then had an idea; blow it out of the side door with her hair dryer whilst brushing the carpet with her hair brush. The hot air served to dry it and send it outside; a great sacrifice from Carole, but when someone’s got a £500 deposit needs must.
Walked into Bude along the coastal path and had a good look around. A few things have changed but it’s not gone too posh. Marked cornish pasties off the list; we ate them sat on a wall, in the main street and watched the cars and people go by. On the return journey we stopped at the Summerleaze beach café for coffee and I spied some alcoholic Ginger Beer. I tried to buy a bottle but was refused due to their type of licence. I offered to buy some biscuits but apparently they do not constitute a meal - they could only serve alcohol with a “knife and fork” meal; I asked if a slice of cake would count as I often do eat cake with a fork. The waitress’s patience was running thin and the queue was getting restless so I settled for two coffees. On the way back along the path under the cloudless blue sky Carole exclaimed “how nice it was to feel the sun on your back”; I hadn’t noticed due to the large rucksack I was carrying which was rammed full with waterproof coats and the laptop. Throughout this holiday Carole has insisted that we take the laptop everywhere to take advantage of the widely available free Wi-Fi. Not once has she got the damn thing to work despite asking for codes and passwords in every single outlet we frequented. "Connectivity my arse"!
Didn’t drive Van Halen today but spoke to Adam the man we hired it off. He was most apologetic about the oil and said to keep receipts if we had to buy anymore. Apparently the windscreen washers worked by inflating the reservoir with an airline and on closer inspection, yes, there is a tyre valve dangling on the floor at the bottom of the steering column, how silly of me to have not have "spotted that one Pike"!! He suggested calling out the AA for the stalling problem but said it would be OK for me to adjust the mixture on the carburettor if I wanted to, he also said 2nd gears are notorious “they all do that, the gear box is like stirring porridge.” I’m sure Helmut Volkswagen didn’t design it with 12inches on the diagonal between 2nd and 3rd – that is a bloody big bowl of porridge.
Day 3
Another good night’s sleep, headaches gone, cloudy this morning so we decide to go to Looe via Polzeath and Wadebridge. On the way I am still struggling with 2nd gear. Carole suggests “pumping the clutch”, yes, from the mists of time I remember about double de-clutching and it works a treat. When we get to Polzeath I turn the mixture screw out ¾ of a turn, the revs rise, we have strong tick over and it nearly always goes into 2nd gear. Over 300 miles and it’s almost drivable! Met Pete, the Surfs Up man on the beach, then get a coffee from the Cone Zone and we sit in Van Halen and watch the surf from the car park at the back of Ann’s Cottage. Bliss!
We then head onto Wadebridge and park at “The Nice Mans” car park. When we park there on the motorbike he makes us park next to his hut, he doesn’t charge us and looks after our jackets and helmets…top bloke! We mark fish and chips at Barny’s off the list; which doesn’t disappoint. When we get back to Van Halen I spend 10 minutes underneath spraying WD40 (other spray lubricants are available) on the tube that the clutch cable runs through as every time the clutch peddle is pressed the tube moves and squeaks on all the cross members.
A very pleasant drive to Looe, Van Halen doesn’t stall, goes into 2nd gear mostly and the clutch doesn’t squeak! Next time we stop for petrol we will pump up the washer system, how many PSI he thinks to himself, German so probably Bars anyway!
Day 4
Yet another good night’s sleep, the bed is very comfy and the sleeping bags keep us toasty warm. We use the brand new facilities, with under floor heating in the toilet block, on a campsite just outside Looe (stayed in a place called Poo in Spain, make mental note to check out Google Maps for other toilet related named places to stay at) and drive to Polperro as we are both in need of a Full English.
Driving along the A38 we hit a heavy rain shower, turn on the wipers and after 5 minutes the passenger wiper came loose and is wiping the back of the door mirror and hitting the front panel mounted aerial. We have to continue as there is no where to stop, but use the wipers as little as possible, we go over the toll bridge and continue to the next services.
After filling up with petrol I reverse back to the airline, to pressurise the washer system, I put in 20 PSI, try the washers………..no water goes onto the screen because it is cascading from under the dashboard onto the carpet. I rotate the wayward passenger wiper back to its correct place and tighten the nut as best I can with the pliers I brought with me.
We are heading for Sidmouth and decide to go through Dartmouth to go across on the ferry. To enter Dartmouth you go down a very long hill, when we reach the bottom the engine stalls because it has cooled down. I restart it, using the choke, giving it mucho revs as we wait for the ferry to come over. Whilst we are waiting and revving a black Audi A3 drops off a Yoof (tracksuit, baseball cap) and drives off, immediately a Police car pulls up and pats him down, turns out his pockets, by now it is time to get on the ferry so we don’t know what the outcome was. It was £4.50 on the ferry; asked the man what time the Duty Free opens? “If only” he replied.
A couple of days ago Carole expressed a life long desire to go to Torquay, first I’d heard about it in nearly 31 years! We were in the vicinity so why not?
As we approached the English Riviera the sky grew darker and the heavens opened.
I turned on the wipers and within 5 minutes…... the passenger wiper came loose and is wiping the back of the door mirror again, I had to keep going until I found somewhere to stop. I decide to remove offending wiper as Carole, laughing, took photo of me on her phone. Getting back into Van Halen, I tried out our new mono-wiper, hit the switch wrong and water poured onto my shoes removing the last of the powdered milk.
Today we have overtaken 3 things, 2 cyclists and 1 mobile crane, in a crawler lane.
We got a bit lost around Exeter and arrived in Sidmouth exhausted having travelled less then 80 miles. We parked near the Tourist Information Centre (TIC), which is actually open, and went for a walk on the prom in the late afternoon sunshine. We visited a wine bar/ bistro to thaw out and marked cream tea off the list. We then drove to a campsite suggested by TIC. On arrival I opened the back hatch window to unpack and the errant wiper fell out onto my feet. I decided to call the AA first thing in the morning!
Day 5
Giles the AA man arrived 40mins after putting in the call, “ahh T2” he nodded sagely “had a couple of these, both complete dogs couldn’t wait to get rid of em, got a Splity now, much better machine”. He expertly diagnosed the problem as the threads that hold the wiper arm on were worn out. With a couple of washers and a new nut he got it too tighten up and he put on an extra locking nut for good measure. He offered to check the driver’s side wiper but on inspection you couldn’t see the nuts for a big blob of silicone sealant and he thought he would leave well alone. We tried them for a few seconds and they didn’t fall off so that was a good result. It hasn’t rained since and as the washers don’t send water onto the screen they haven’t been switched on since.
Clear blue skies again but cold, as we drove along our top halves were in the nice, warm sun and our feet freezing cold. Although I’m getting into this double de clutching routine to get 2nd gear on the way down, the box changing up into 3rd is now sometimes difficult. There is such a huge ratio difference when unsuccessful engaging 3rd you have no alternative but to go back down into 2nd and pray as the vehicles behind nearly run into each other. On the A303 dual carriageway, on a slight uphill section, we got overtaken by a broken down double decker bus being towed by a recovery lorry; such is the lack of performance from Van Halen. Filled up with petrol and got some oil to top up the engine through the ridiculously positioned oil filler. Having stopped for dinner at a Little Chef, and a thaw out, replenished we continued on our way. Just past Cirencester a large pheasant launched itself off the verge and with great precision hit the middle of the windscreen whilst we were going at 50mph, nothing broke but it really shook the van, didn’t see what happened to the pheasant! Proudly on a very steep hill we managed to overtake a fully loaded artic lorry that had run out of gears (at least he has got some) and was trying to set off again but his wheels were spinning- he did catch us up later.
On Van Halen’s key ring there is Camping and Caravanning Club Privilege Card 2010, we had shown this at a previous camp site and got a 10% discount. We proudly showed this on arrival at the Stow on the Wold campsite only to be informed that theirs was a ‘Caravan Club’ site and it would cost £22 to stay there for 1 night as non members! We asked for directions to a nearby site!
We drove in past the farm house that had no signs for reception, onto a big field that had various caravans and camper vans in situ. There was a group of men and women stood around one with flags flying high above, they looked official so we drove up to them, wound down the window and as a man approached us I said “can we stay the night?” He asked “are you members?” I replied “no” but showed him the key ring. He enquired “what’s that?” and as it is a bit scratched I held it nearer to his face. “Look it’s a 2010 privilege card” with that he lifted up, what I thought was one of those trendy walking poles, however, it was a white stick, he was BLIND! I ask you who puts a person of impaired vision as an official on the gate at a camp site!!! Carole explained to me it was something to do with Equal Opportunities. Anyway, I of course apologised but then a woman came over and said we couldn’t stay on their part of the field, as we weren’t members, but if we go to the farm house front door the farmer could ‘bend the rules’ and he might let us stay on another part of the field. Remember this is huge field with no discernable segregated areas so we turn round and go back to the farmhouse. “Course you can stay” £13.50, no receipt, if the other people in the field ask “tell um yur thinkin o joinin.”
When sat inside the van, with side door open, in the warm sunshine watching the other campers trundle about with barrels of water and “cassettes” of toilet waste Carole wondered what ‘membership’ entitled all these people in £35k to £65k camper vans too. Was it some elite club? She asked “will they be running round at midnight with chickens on their heads?” I replied “no, they are not Free Masons but if one’s got a white stick we’ll know they are from the Caravan and Camping Club”.
Day 6
We opened the van door to see a beautiful white frosty field and a clear blue sky. In the next field they are building a new community hospital and sure enough at 7.45am a giant digger started work on a hole near the campers on the other side of the field. By 9am they was busy on the other side of the site but there was no activity around original hole which reminded me of one year camping at Polzeath. A new toilet block was being built and the roofers would turn up at 7am and start up an ear splitting petrol driven disc cutter, wake the whole campsite up, cut tiles for twenty minutes then go for a tea break and spend the rest of the day fitting them quietly on the roof.
The entrance into the camping field doesn’t have a gate, just a lift out metal post which everybody drives up to, lifts out, drives through and puts back in. If anybody can move it what is its purpose? Again we sat in the sunshine watching the other campers trundling barrels of water and “cassettes” of toilet waste; which unusually at this campsite a manhole cover has to be lifted to empty offending recepticles into. When I later went for a shower, written in the instructions were the words “use the water sparingly.” When you turned the shower on there was little choice in the matter as the tepid water dribbled out, yet I’d just watched 200 gallons being rolled back up the campsite?
We had breakfast and as we were leaving the campsite Carole walked across to go to the loo and we arranged to meet at the gate. As I drove towards her the ‘blind’ man was walking along the driveway neatly avoiding all the puddles! How did he do that? I wondered. Carole came out of the toilets, the pole was already out so she stood to one side and she could hear somebody talking to the ‘blind’ man via a walkie talkie; telling him how many steps and which direction. That’s why on the previous day he had walked up to the van in such a confident manner! Next time he goes out on his own I hope he puts his foot in something a dog has left behind.(only joking)
We then drove to Broadway and discovered that by putting Van Halen into neutral gear at the top of a long hill, left foot braking and keeping the engine revs up it didn’t stall at the roundabout at the bottom. Magic! Broadway is a lovely place to visit and Carole achieved another life long ambition of ordering ‘eggs benedict’ for lunch. She had hoped that this would happen on a romantic trip to New York, I gently explained that Broadway was as close as we were getting and she seemed pleased with that.
A perfect drive home along the old ‘Fosse Way’ passing all the trees as they changed to glorious autumnal shades and mellow fruitfulness brought our adventure to an end and we arrived home safe and sound being careful not to tread in the oil patch left by Van Halen on the drive the previous Friday.
Conclusion
Camping
We have been on four really nice sites, inexpensive and well serviced, in some fabulous locations. Camp sites were virtually deserted and October is obviously is the ideal time to go for us. Van Halen provides superb accommodation for two people and the electric hook up was the icing on the cake.
Weather
We have had gloriously sunny days and only two rain showers on our travels. The autumn colours have made it memorable and the frosty morning were a beautiful sight.
Motoring
700 miles later and Van Halen is just how I always thought a VW camper would be to drive … f**cking sh*te!
Would we do it again? YES but not in one of these piles of cr*p, Mark my words any camper van we hire in the future, of any make, will be subject to a thorough road test in the presence of the owner.
I must finish now as someone is knocking at the front door. I suspect it is Steven Spielburg seeking the film rights, casting us as Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, in the making of his next blockbuster.
timber
VIP Member
Snowy 55
What a great post. I do like a bit of humour.
As an aside ,the spell corrector changed the word to humor U.S of A style (or is that stile)
In previous post of mine it (Site Police) also changed my naughty word to Sozzled :crazy ---------- but I am sure my boss did not say it. After-all part of the word is in the Bible :censor
What a great post. I do like a bit of humour.
As an aside ,the spell corrector changed the word to humor U.S of A style (or is that stile)
In previous post of mine it (Site Police) also changed my naughty word to Sozzled :crazy ---------- but I am sure my boss did not say it. After-all part of the word is in the Bible :censor
S
skip.lesion
VIP Member
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Laugh out loud funny - made my evening!
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Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
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- T6 Ocean 150 4Motion
Brilliant post snowy!
We live in Polzeath; I'm glad Cone Zone (I'm in there most days for a flat white) was okay and clearly Van Halen made it up the rather steep hill - some T2s/Splittys don't make it!
Our friends have a T2 and a Cali (they copied us - same colour, age, also 4motion…!); the T2 is probably due to be sold as they've realised driving to Italy (where they have a house) in one is actually torture.
We live in Polzeath; I'm glad Cone Zone (I'm in there most days for a flat white) was okay and clearly Van Halen made it up the rather steep hill - some T2s/Splittys don't make it!
Our friends have a T2 and a Cali (they copied us - same colour, age, also 4motion…!); the T2 is probably due to be sold as they've realised driving to Italy (where they have a house) in one is actually torture.
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