Glad to hear they are working. The microswitch is for cutting out the vehicle fog lamp, reversing sensors and possibly the reversing light when a there a trailer or caravan plugged in. They aren't needed and light reflecting from those lights ig they are on can be distracting to the driver. I don't have a microswitch on mine and this is all managed the Canbus system so, assuming yours works in the same way, then your engineer's comment sounds incorrect.
In answer to you first question: I believe load, as you mentioned, will result in the trailer detection. Once I plug my Prosol trailer socket tester in, the display comes top on the screen and there's a load resistance across some of the pins in it's plug
I don't know the answer to 2 but would expect a short delay between plug-in and power. The ATC LED on A frame of my caravan lights up green when it is connect and there's a very short delay to that between plug-in and light up. Here's what the manual for my caravan says: "ATC will carry out an initial self test and the LED light on the front fairing will light up on RED. During the self test, the sound of the push rod moving inside the ATC can be heard. When the self test is complete, the LED will turn GREEN or flashing GREEN to signal that the ATC is active"
In the case of 3, again I don't know why but am not surprised by this from an electrical point of view. From a safety perspective, the less pins that have volts on them when disconnected from a socket that is partially exposed to the elements, the better. I do recommend the tow socket cover that I mention in my previous post. A tow bar fitting expert said that, even with the best cover that flaps over the socket, water always gets in eventually and may cause electrical problems.